Cabbage's Remorse
by PrincessRuthella
Summary: HEY GUYZZZZZZ! IT'S PRINCESS RUTHELLA, Do you like romance, obsession, cabbages? Then you'll love Cabbage's Remorse!-Inspired by an old friend, Laura -


**HEY GUYZ it's Princess Ruthella :DDD I dedicate this story to my very old friend from childhood, Laura. She gave me the idea** **we used to watch Jane and the Dragon together and talk about cabbages and we converted the theme song with cabbages enjoy! :D**

Cabbage's Remorse

(Parody of my other story lol)

 **Theme song:**

There once was a cabbage in waiting

Let's call her cabbage.

That cabbage wasn't ordinary-

No way for me a cabbage stuck in waiting

I'd rather battle fire-breathing cabbages

I knew I could prove that a cabbage could be a cabbage

Though my cabbages all laughed at me

but...

I wouldn't be discouraged and trained in secret

Then a cabbage pinched the Royal cabbage

and everyone was freaking

So I went alone to the cabbage 's home

to slay the cabbage

Hey now, hey now now

cabbage and the cabbage are best friends now

cabbage's sweet, he let me save the young cabbage

Then the cabbage made me a cabbage apprentice

Hey now hey now now...

With cabbage's help I'll be a cabbage someday

 **Story**

"A new shipment of cabbages has arrived!" King Caradoc sang.

"Yes Sire, cabbages are very…lovely" Jane replied slowly. She thought cabbages were okay, but their taste were very bland and unsatisfying and knew if she retorted how she felt to the king he would grow very angry. For King Caradoc LOVED cabbages and he did not just love them, he was OBSESSED WITH THEM. Many wondered if he would give up his wife for all the cabbages in the world, but no one dared to ask that question. He also had a shrine dedicated to the vegetable and made everyone pay their respects.

"Jane, my dear I'm very pleased that you also are fond of cabbages" He praised

"Yes my king, Dragon and I love eating cabbages! We wished we could every day, ALL THE TIME" she exclaimed.

"Although I do love your enthusiasm, if you did that there wouldn't be enough cabbages for me…" He started to go into shock "and if I don't have my cabbages…" He went to the ground in fetal position and cried "NOT THE CABBAGES! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Then he began to sway side to side hugging himself for dear life and sucking his thumb.

"King Caradoc?" Jane asked traumatized "Sire...? I'll go and bring some cabbages to your room." She left and hurried off to gather some cabbages.

(^-^)

"The king did what?!" Jester shrieked. "I know the king is crazy when it comes to cabbages, but I didn't know he was that…WEIRD!"

"I know it would be a lie if I didn't admit I was a little frighten," This coming from a girl who stood up to a fire-breathing dragon and befriended him.

Jester pulled out a pen and ink and began to draw on the cabbage, "It's a face!" Jester expressed amused.

Jane dropped the cabbage she was holding, "WOW… that's the handsomeness face I ever seen" Jane swooned.

Jester looked at his creation with disgust, "Jane you can't be serious…what about my face" he produce a bright grin on his face.

Jane pushed him aside, "GIVEME!" She reached for the cabbage and ran away "BYE SUCKER!" Wow his face was perfection and better than any man she had ever seen. She just stared in awe of the benevolent cabbage.

"HEY SHORT-LIFE, your best friend and the handsomest dragon in the whole universe, if I do say so myself, is here!...Jane? Hey bestie Jane stop staring at that fruit and LOOK AT ME!" Dragon roared.

"Huh? Dragon leave me alone! I'm spending time with the best company in the world!" Jane responded.

"WHAT, ARE YOU DEMENTED? You know your company is a smelly cabbage with a face drawn on it!" Dragon countered.

"HUSH…you'll hurt Dante's feelings" Jane replied patting her "friend's" head "He didn't mean it Dante… Dragon is sometimes very harsh with words."

Dragon stood a gasped "Jane you are CRAZY," Dragon exclaimed feeling a little bit hurt and jealous of the attention Jane was giving the cabbage.

"DRAGON LEAVE ME NOW… if you're not going to tolerate my new friend, I will not tolerate you!"

Dragon began to fly determined to destroy the cabbage that entered his life and took his best friend away from him. "I will get my friend back and Dante will pay for his insolence!" Oh my, did I just call him Dante? Dragon thought disturb with himself.

(^-^)

"Jester, that cabbage must die!" Dragon roared as fire spilled from his lips.

"I agree, my friend. But how?" Jester quizzed.

"First of all don't call me friend or I will roast you alive and of course you don't know how, Jingle-Boy, there defiantly isn't a brain in that hat of yours." Dragon sneered. "Hmmm… I got a plan" Dragon said while delivering an evil grin "WAHAHAHAHAHa" He cackled .

"WAHAHAHAHAHA," Jester joined in.

"STOP!" Dragon bellowed.

"Okay…" Jester timidly replied.

(^-^)

The chilled night air made Jester shiver. He stood on the castle stone in front of Jane's door ready to follow the plan Dragon created. He breathed a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Who is it?" Jane beckoned. "I'm kind of busy having tea with Dante."

Tea…with a cabbage? "Umm…it's Jester, I have very urgent news. Please open up I'm sorry I'm interrupting your tea party," he choked trying not to barf at the fact that she was spending time with the cabbage more than she ever done with him.

"All right maggot…what is it?!" Jane said as she open her door holding Dante.

"It's just…" Jester slowly replied. "Just that the…ummm," he took down at the cabbage in her arms and grabbed it and ran for dear life!

"JESTER GIVE HIM BACK TO ME, YOU BISCUIT WEEVIL!" She screamed while running full blast towards him.

"Dragon here, catch!" Jester threw the cabbage into Dragon's awaiting arms.

"I got it Floppy Hat," Dragon grabbed the veggie and ripped it up into shreds, pulling leaf after leaf into a disarray on the stones below.

"DANTE! My love," Jane cried. She fell to the ground like a forgotten sword. She started to go into fetal position and cry.

As the hot tears rolled down her cheeks, the boys went into utter shock. Then Jane began to do something strange she started to sit up and LAUGH!? Like a psycho!

"ALL FOOLS DAY!" She declared "Boy, you guys are really stupid…I even tricked the author into thinking I liked that cabbage, Ruthella, you're so dumb" (:P thank God you don't like him lol- Ruthella ) .

Jester and Dragon look at each other and groaned. "Well at least that's done with…so Jane who does have the handsomest face you ever seen?" Jester questioned.

Dragon and Jester began to stare at her. "Why Gunther of course!" Jane proclaimed.

Jester took off his hat and fell back "AUGHHHH."

"What's wrong with him?" Jane thought.

"JANE!" the king screamed "You didn't bring me my cabbages and now I'll have a head for a head!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Jane cried, "Someone help me…Jester? Dragon?"

"Huh?..What's the point…you think I'm ugly" Jester sighed.

"Ask a cabbage," Dragon mocked.

"GUYZZZZ….."

 **That's the end lol and the weirdest thing I ever wrote lol It wAsN't my idea lol Well I hoped you like it anyway it almost got destroyed when I tried to save it! BYEZ hope you read my other stories too :}**


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